Agree to disagree: Communication advice from Jack Burke

Jack Burke talkin politics

(NEWS CENTER) -- Today we're talking about a negative communication behavior. It goes by many names and involves expressing our opinion with bullying, mocking, and sarcasm.

We'll call it "Discounting".  As in "Your opinion is not worth as much as mine." This behavior nurtures resentment and will always damage the relationship.

Bullying, mocking, and sarcasm are all based in fear.

Afraid you won't be heard…Afraid that giving credibility to your view takes credibility away from mine.

The antidote is validation. We recognize that the other person has a point of view and logic to their opinion. So … we might say, "I understand your point of view …I can see how you would feel that way".

1. Don't expect to agree on everything just because you love each other. Actually, that would be pretty boring. So practice respectful listening…it leads to intimacy.

2. Overcome the fear that trying-on your partner's opinion invalidates yours. If you both feel validated…your IQs go up and creative solutions appear.

3. Remember, there is no amount of love, devotion, noise, or bluster that turns my opinions into facts.

Bullying is always a sign of fear and weakness. It creates avoidance instead of cooperation.

Copyright 2016 WCSH


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