Focus on root issues for best outcomes in love

(NEWS CENTER) -- Sometimes in relationships partners give big demands. Instead of brushing it off, Jack Burke, a licensed marriage and family therapist, said to get to the root of the issue.

"You need to find out what they really want to accomplish," he said.

For example, asking a partner not to watch football on Sundays may sound unreasonable. But if the root reason is the wanting to spend more time together, that is an easy thing to accomplish, said Burke. The only limitation is creativity.

Burke also said it's okay to ask people to change their behavior, but not who they are.

"Punishing in a love relationship is never going to have a payoff," said Burke.

There is a big difference between "don't own a dog" and "don't let the dog on the new couch." Burke said to focus requests on behavior for the best outcome.


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